Up and down 'the new Iraq',
A thousand dogs were heard to bark.
From kennels large and kennels small
Each issued his election call.

Some yapped in chorus, some alone;
Each claimed to have the perfect bone.
And standing by, with whip in hand,
The real power in the land:

The circus-master, Uncle Sam,
Now reinventor of Islam,
And bringer of all goodly things
From Marlboros to Burger Kings.

So poll day came and poll day went
And soon there was a government,
With ministers and hangers-on
And ordinances by the tonne.

Beside each mosque a bustling bar
Paid tribute to the secular,
Ensured that in the new Baghdad
The gloom was gone — and all were glad.